chronicles of a broken heart

okay, i’ve been away for a while through no fault of mine…yes i stand by the first 12 words. i was heart broken, depressed, sad, not suicidal, murderous but DID NOT kill anyone i’m aware of but the healing process has started and for the next few posts i’ll be sharing some true-life fiction diluted story. anyway my brother friend L.Adris would also help in these series titled “chronicles of a broken heart” tomorrow’s friday but who cares? ….. like the saying goes “whatsafriday?”  SO HERE IT GOES…………..


When i said i loved you did i really know what i was saying? did i really know what that word meant? To love? i’m sure it just slipped off my tongue. But did i really mean it? Did i say what i meant and mean what i said. Would i at first instance see you and with excitement rushing down my spine call you a part of me or would i put you in front of a firing squad at the first sight of trouble? Would i love u regardless, when we are old but have never had the joy of child birth and use my love for you as fuel for my faith? or would i deny you just to save my life or cheat on you because i know you’ll do same? Would i fall desperately in love with you at the first sight of your beauty that literally draws me to you like ant to honey, and love u till our old age, or allow my sentiments of how perfect you are in my minds eye push me away? Would i love u so much that 14 years of work becomes 2 weeks in my eyes because i would be willing to do ANYTHING because i LOVE U!
Would my love still burn with the same intensity it did even when you leave me and our children in other to go pursue your sinful passion in life? Even though it hurts not only my reputation but also the sanctity of our union? Would i pick you up from your filth and wash you with my own hands and adorn u with robes made of gold and diamond accessories.
Would i be able to do anything to save you but still have the decency to know that my love for you would never allow me to hurt you or the one whose love you  left me for? To respect you as a woman?
Would my love for you be such to make me believe any strange story you tell and and run with your dreams, missions and ambitions rather than making you a public shame in the eyes of many. Because if not love, what would cause me to believe your lies,your deceit.. Would my love for you make me a better man to stand up to you when you bring a bad idea? Would my love for you lead me to a vicious battle of love and hate. Till eventually my love breaks my hate,despise and disgust. Would my love lead me to lay my life for you knowing that one day you’d love me even though u keep spitting on my face? IS IT LOVE i feel or I’m i going crazy with infatuations?   …… For so long i have been the bigger man in all this but no more… i’m no more willing to let love lead.


to be continued…….


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